somebody snuck up and got me drunk
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
