oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize