Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
