I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
