the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
