We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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