how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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