I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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