i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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