Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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