i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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