I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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