It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
