I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"