Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So squirting runs in the family.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
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What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.