it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy