peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
