Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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