I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
