Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
