last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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