I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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