Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize