she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
