it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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