You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Randomize
