Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
