guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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