"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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