Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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