dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
