I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
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I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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