Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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