that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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