About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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