what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Randomize
