I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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