I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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