I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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