What a fucking waste of an outfit
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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