what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
