My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
