can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
