the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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