WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
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I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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