you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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