Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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