You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
