Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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