Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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