btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
