I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
