Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize