But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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