I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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