I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
COCAINE IS GR8
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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