I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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