So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
