Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
