i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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